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World Peace is None of Your Business

Morrissey - 2014

I wear a broken wristwatch on a daily basis. It's silver with a folding metal clasp. Its not especially old or new. It is not worn for any sentimental reasons. The watch used to work quite well all told but it probably lost a great deal of resale value when it stopped telling the time. I mean it gives the right time twice a day but that hardly meets the prerequisite for most any portable clock. Technically, it has ceased to be a watch. It has forfeit the right to be called a time-keeper. In some circles, it might be considered a rather odd piece of jewelry. Sure, it looks nice but at the same time it doesn’t necessarily do what it once did. I would like you to know that I have taken several steps toward fixing said watch. It has been seen by no less than three jewelers at this point. These skilled watchmakers have replaced tiny cogs and repaired miniature dials but to no avail. A variety of batteries have been employed but each replacement ultimately failed. It has been taken apart by a quiet Russian man. It’s been sent to an offsite expert. It has even been tinkered with by a lovely old lady in a rather small shop. In fact, it was she who first made me aware of the fact that the common issue with a gentleman’s wristwatch has to do with shaving and other general ablutions. The thinking from this elderly woman behind the counter is that a man’s watch spends far too long beside the bathroom sink. As it turns out, watches have difficulty performing their duties after being repeatedly exposed to the steam that is so often generated in a bathroom setting. I assured her that the watch in question had not suffered such a fate but I could tell she was skeptical. Regardless, each of these experts simply could not revive the watch and so it remains an absolute mystery. It’s a mechanical conundrum apparently. It simply won't do its job. It refuses to work. It's permanently on strike. We can safely conclude then that it's a delightfully stubborn device. Don’t worry. I already know what you’re thinking. Why in God’s name is he going on about some defunct timepiece? Well, the fact is that most people already have a very strong opinion about Morrissey's music. There is no middle ground when it comes to an artist known as the ‘Pope of mope’. This review could never convince someone to experience or avoid this album. Fans will be automatically drawn to Mozzer’s latest record and those opposed will pass. I could make insightful comments about the dramatic changes to the production and celebrate the melodies but neither would persuade a naysayer to give World Peace the chance it deserves. Lyrically, Moz continues to croon about animal rights and social injustice. You already know if you’ll take it or leave it. So let’s get back to what’s important. Who actually needs a watch in 2014? Nowadays you’d be hard pressed to avoid knowing the time! We're bombarded by it every second. We have time stamped firmly on our phones, tablets, laptops, emails, TV’s, and microwave ovens. No longer do we need a watch to help us determine the hour! Watches have long since lost their purpose and were reduced to fashionable accessories years ago! This is where the real problem lies. We are encouraged to live in the moment and make human connections whenever possible and yet modern technology has eliminated the simple need to talk to a stranger. When was the last time that you were stopped in the street and asked for the time? You might be concerned about such an encounter if you’d been forewarned. Would you find the time to tell the time? Of course, you would. You’d make the time to tell the time and you’d do well to do so. You’d hear a friendly voice. You’d feel good for about helping. You’d share a quick smile and move on. However, the fact remains. In this day and age we don’t need watches and we don’t need Morrissey. They served their purpose and they were good in their time. So, why then do I continue to wear a broken watch and listen to Morrissey records? Watches and Morrissey make life better. In fact, this is what should be done! People should stand on city streets with giant clocks. Clocks that would make Flavor Flav self-conscious. These time keepers will smile politely and respectfully inform the occasion passerby of the time. It’ll bring new meaning to ‘time sharing’! They’re not selling anything or wanting your signature. They are simply improving the overall quality of life for the man in the street. “Excuse me, I just wanted to tell you that it's five past seven. Here's my giant clock to prove that I'm not lying. Take care and enjoy yourself.” Believe it or not, there is a point to this ridiculous review. The fact remains that Morrissey and my watch are not what they once were. They simply can't do what they used to. Now, please don’t think I’m pining for former glory. I'm not hankering for the classic work of Stephen Patrick's solo years. The past didn’t go anywhere. Vauxhall and I is only ever a click away. As for a Smiths reunion?! Hell, I’d settle for a Moz/Marr selfie, from LA with love! The fact remains that no one else can do what Morrissey does. For better or worse, I will forever be interested in what he has to say. Some say that Morrissey is a broken record but he's actually a broken watch. There's not much more to say but I can tell you that it has been 8:41 for a very long time indeed.

Posted by C. Scott

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PS You can also purchase the Deluxe Edition of World Peace is None of Your Business as I have done but it will not include the track ‘Laughter is Vulgar’. This isn’t entirely surprising however as such a song doesn't actually exist despite the fact that it absolutely should. It's the most Morrisseyesque title I could come up with in this raucous Starbucks.

Posted almost 5 years ago by Dsc 0563C. Scott

Posted: 07/19/2014

Review by:

Dsc 0563

C. Scott


C. Scott ranks this as the
#5 favorite album of 2014

Rating: